15 Annoying Ads but Branding Genius

As if the Indian serials were not enough to irritate the living daylights out of people, the ad makers have decided to shoulder the cause as well. Every time you watch T.V, whether it is NEWS or serial or a movie (see Set Max for 1000 times’ repeated Sooryavansham or Don No.1), the whole industry has conspired against the sanity of people. But, the real shock is not of the absurdity, the real shock is when you realise even after all this incongruity the TRP’s or the selling rate is remarkable. Here are the 15 most annoying ads, which are (from god’s highly, grateful grace) are branding genius*:

1) Airtel 4G

I suppose the only person in the entire India, whose life has become outright amazing, easy and worth living because of 4G, is Sasha Chettri. Otherwise, I cannot find a single soul telling me that his/her boss has stopped yelling because they use 4G, or they topped the class because they use 4G. Though, no matter how irritating the ad is, Airtel remains on the top.

2) Amul Innerwears: Dhinak Dhin Dha

Where the song seems nice, the ad leaves me screwing up my face worse than a grumpy cat. I can’t understand why a teenage girl would want to see a married man in undergarments doing Yoga? Why, Amul? Tell us, the nation wants to know.   How it managed to increase its sales it still a troublesome question.

3) Fair and lovely

 All Fair&Lovely lovely ads have a similar theme: - Apparently, the girl is dark - Her qualifications mean nothing because she is dark... well! - She faces rejection in all aspects of life because she’s dark… well! Still Fair&Lovely shines brightly in the marketplace. I wonder where all Feminists are now when we need them. Deepika? Oh no, she’s busy with Lakme BB cream, which also promotes fairness.

4) Dairy Milk

None can eat Dairy Milk without smearing the whole face. Yes, because we can’t tell the difference between lips and cheeks. Way to go. Dairy Milk’s ad is just not an ad, it’s a tribute to Stone Age people, our ancestors.

5) Amul Macho 

It seems more like an adult ad. No comments.   After showing his amazing skills in Humshakals, Saif Ali Khan, tells you how to live life bade aaram se. Yes, because if you wear Amul Macho you do not have to worry about sharks, winning a race or eggs.

6) IIN

What would the makers be thinking at the time they decided to make this ad? Maybe: Let’s show this world how ridiculous and absurd we can get. The memes flooded the internet when this ad released, and which was one of the biggest reason for its increased sales. 

7) Fogg

How come, two soldiers of the biggest rival neighbouring nations, fighting every day, could talk nonsense on a night-time stroll? How come people still use this deodorant? I fail to understand. I must enrol myself into IIN.

8) Well, all perfume ads

All the perfume ads work on a single theme: - You are a boy - No girls give a damn about you - You used Axe, Fogg, Wild Stone, Engage (this deodorant’s speciality is raging hormones at public places), etc. etc. People buy them with all vigour. Maybe in the illusion that girls will become iron and them magnet. I might die of irrationality.

9) Slice (The amsutra)

Katrina is irrevocably in love with Mangoes, so much that she started doing funny things to the mango. It is sensualised to the point that it seems more like a condom ad!

10) Kya aapke toothpaste me namak hai?

The trademarked phrase of Colgate- Kya aapke toothpaste me namak hai? - has inspired so many memes. They have made salt the primary ingredient in the toothpaste. Later, charcoal, neem, and neembu (lemon) have joined the league. Priyanka, Kareena, and Lara all have made the worst-blowing entries. Still… Colgate means toothpaste.

11) Dar ke age jeet hai

Of course, when people will drink Mountain Dew, they will be able to get out of storms looking like they have just come out of a bath, mind me, totally clean. Or, they will jump off a cliff, and the next moment will be firing a gun on the opposite mountain defying all the laws of Physics because they have Mountain Dew which defies Science and rationality altogether.

12) Vasmol

Because the daughter never saw her mother colouring her hair. Yes, talk about ignorance, or is it a total absurdity?

13) Dettol

They say Dettol uncountable times, and this is supposed to be song. Talk about self-obsession. Dettol kills 99.99% germs and I’m still pondering what that 00.01% germ eat to combat it. It must have studied medicine from IIM.

14) All Pan Masala ads

You will never guess what the ad is about until you watch it till the end. It starts with either people dancing, or people playing chess, or two best friends meeting after a long time (magically, in the same place for discussing how they have travelled the whole world and still found nothing tasty other than the Pan Masala). Though, Ajay Devgan wins the race of absurdity. After all, “Vimal’s 25 years” must be celebrated. I can never understand how donating blood, or such good moral values can promote tobacco consummation. Irony! 

15. My first diamond ring

How come this ad is not censored? It is one of those double meaning ads which has nothing to do with the product. The ad is overdramatic and a vulgar dose of double meaning.  * Above mentioned annoying ads are capable enough to ruin the sanity of this already eccentric writer. Please, give her some breathing space until she gets normal (well, as normal as she can be). It is advisable to not fight over ‘which is the most irritating’, these all deserve: multiple face-palms, loud inappropriate words and actions, and ‘Global Billu Award.’

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